Mini Me
by Orange Lantern Tsume
Summary: The STARS discover a new, secret, super-evil experiment of Umbrella's. But will they live to tell--and stop--this new monstrosity? And Steve is there? R&R! Ch4 UP!
1. Mad Science Is Whack

Mini Me  
  
By Blackheart Syaoran  
  
AUTHOR: This is my first Resident Evil fic, so go light on me!  
  
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Chapter 1: Mad Science Is Whack  
  
  
  
  
  
Jill rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked at the newspaper. "Hey, there's another White Sale as Macy's!"  
  
"We don't have time for that!" Chris said, acting heroic. "We have to destroy Umbrella!"  
  
"We can do that new week!" Claire said. "I'm with Jill! White Sales rule!"  
  
"Not as much as wrestling," Barry grumbled.  
  
"More than wrestling!" the girls shouted.  
  
"No way! My wrestlers could body-slam your sheets into the laundry!" Barry shot back.  
  
"I'm trying to get some sleep up here!" Leon yelled from his room upstairs.  
  
"Oh no!" Claire gasped. "Leon's mad at me again!" She rushed upstairs, leaving Barry and Chris very confused.  
  
"What's with Claire?" Chris asked.  
  
"She only recently realized how obsessed she is with Leon," Jill shrugged. "And where the hell is Carlos? He's supposed to paint my nails! A woman can't do everything herself!"  
  
"Coming!" Carlos yelled as he struggled to put on his pants and rush down the stairs at the same time. He tripped and fell, almost breaking his neck. "Ouch!"  
  
"No excuses!" Jill said. "Get to work!"  
  
Carlos grumbled as he got the nail paint from the drawer of a coffee stand. "Slave driver."  
  
All of a sudden, the door burst open and Rebecca ran into the kitchen, getting everyone's attention. "Guys, I have horrible news!"  
  
"What is it?" Chris asked.  
  
"Not until I have some coffee!" Rebecca said, crossing her arms.  
  
"You know you get hyper when you drink coffee," Barry said.  
  
"What did Umbrella do again...?" Rebecca said, fingering her chin, eyes upward and faking deep thought.  
  
Chris grabbed Barry's coffee. "Here."  
  
"Hey, I spit in that!" Barry said.  
  
Chris then grabbed Jill's latte. "Here, freshly-brewed."  
  
"Thanks!" Rebecca said. "I need to try latte!"  
  
"Damn, and I didn't even think of spitting in it like Barry always does!" Jill cursed.  
  
"Well," Rebecca said as she stopped drinking for a moment, "I heard a rumor that Umbrella is doing new kinds of research with something even more powerful than the G-Virus!"  
  
"My God!" Chris gasped. "These guys are REALLY EVIL!"  
  
"And you are really annoying, Boy Scout," Jill said. "And to think I tried to sleep with you."  
  
"You tried to sleep with Chris?" Leon laughed as he and Claire came downstairs. "You should have had a threesome with me and Claire!"  
  
"I think the blow-up Carla doll was pretty good," Claire said indignantly.  
  
"Sick freaks," Barry said before Claire hit him with a spare 2x4.  
  
"Okay, team," Chris said heroically, "let's go stop Umbrella!"  
  
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The S.T.A.R.S. made their way to the secret facility, which my Umbrella employers have asked me really nicely not to tell the location of (AN: You see, I think Umbrella kicks ass!) and were searching for the entrance.  
  
"Maybe it's over here?" Barry said.  
  
"No, I think I found it," Carlos said.  
  
"You moron!" Jill said, whacking him upside the head. "That's a picture of Ross Perot!"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"God, you are freaking stupid!" Jill swore, hitting him again.  
  
"Well, I didn't find a door, but I found something every guy needs!" Leon called.  
  
"What?" Chris and Barry asked.  
  
"A great spot to stand and piss on the wall!"  
  
"Dude, that's great!" Chris agreed, sliding down his fly.  
  
"We don't have time for this!" Rebecca snapped. She grabbed Barry's ear and ragged him to the REAL door. "I found the entrance!"  
  
"I can't believe we didn't spot it," Chris said, scratching his head. "I mean, we parked right next to it!"  
  
"See if it's rigged," Jill told Carlos.  
  
"Why do I always have to do it?" Carlos groaned.  
  
"Because of two reasons: One, the Author doesn't like you, unless he's bashing you/abusing you; and Two, you are the lamest character in the entire series."  
  
"What about Brad?" Carlos said. "He was a coward!"  
  
"True, but he started everything by being a coward," Barry said. "Face it, Carlos, you're just plain worthless."  
  
"Fine, I'll open the damn door," Carlos growled. He opened the door---and cried out as a bucket of water fell on his head.  
  
"Wow, Umbrella must be going broke," Leon said. "That has got to be the lamest security system I have ever seen."  
  
"Tell me about it," Barry said as he shouldered past Carlos---and screamed as he slipped on a banana peel. He got up threw the peel away. "Damn, I got screwed myself."  
  
"You guys are idiots," Chris said as he walked past them---and doubled over, crying out in pain as a door to his right opened and the handle whacked him right in the family jewels.  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" the female scientist said. She then looked closely at Chris. "You are very good-looking, you know that, honey?" she purred, leaning on him.  
  
"Oh no you don't!" Jill roared, stalking forward. She slapped the female scientist. "He's mine!"  
  
"I thought you didn't like me?" Chris said.  
  
"Shut up, slave!" Jill said. (AN: In this fic, she's kind of a psycho- bitch who tries to make Chris her slave).  
  
A catfight started, and the guys started placing bets on who would get Chris. They even got some beers from a closet in the Umbrella facility's lab. Rebecca didn't join in, and Carlos was too stupid to understand the rules of a catfight bet.  
  
Finally, Jill emerged victorious!  
  
"I win!" she declared needlessly---before the female Umbrella scientist got back up, her skin rippling before it shredded itself, revealing her to be a new breed of Tyrant.  
  
"Oh My God!" Chris gasped. "And I thought she had a nice ass!"  
  
"I will have you yet, my Chrissy-poo!" the Tyrant-woman declared. She swiped at Jill, who deftly dodged and kicked the other in the face. It had no effect. Thinking up a new move, Jill slapped her. The Tyrant-woman roared in fury, and a new brand of catfight emerged.  
  
"Guys, we need more beer!" Barry said.  
  
"I'll get some!" Carlos said, trotting off through a door.  
  
"That guy really is the world's biggest moron," Rebecca said, amazed. "He just ran back outside, where there IS NO BEER!"  
  
(Outside)  
  
"Man, Americans sure have weird liquor stores," Carlos said as he shopped around, picking up a cactus, which he thought was tequila. A few needles slipped down his throat and...  
  
(Inside)  
  
The catfight raged on, until:  
  
"Look, it's George Clooney!" Jill cried, pointing behind the Tyrant-woman. The monster turned, expecting to the see the man, and Jill pushed her into a closet. "Run!"  
  
The team ran into a lab, where there were all kinds of data sheets and large tanks filled with unformed blobs.  
  
"Rebecca picked up a sheet and read it. "I can't believe it!"  
  
"What?" the others asked.  
  
"Umbrella is trying to decipher the formula of beer!"  
  
Barry, Chris, and Leon gasped. "Those black-hearted bastards! They won't even try ordinary corporate espionage!"  
  
"That's nothing!" Claire gasped. "I found their new secret experiment!"  
  
But just as she turned to show them, the new secret experiment latched onto her leg.  
  
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AUTHOR: Wait until you see what the New Secret Experiment is! AND READ MY OTHER FICS!  
  
READ N REVIEW! 


	2. Midget Mania

Mini Me  
  
By Blackheart Syaoran  
  
AUTHOR: Thanks for the little-in-number reviews, all!  
  
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Chapter 2: Midget Mania  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The New Secret Experiment jerked and tried to pull Claire into the chamber behind her, but Chris leapt forward and grabbed her hand.  
  
"Hold on, Claire!" he said.  
  
"Are you stupid? What do you THINK I should do?" she snapped. "Help! This thing is trying to break my leg!"  
  
"Everybody, pull!" Chris said. The S.T.A.R.S. all gave a huge pull, which jerked Claire out of the doorway to the New Secret Experiment's chamber--- but it was still attached to her leg.  
  
"I love you, Claire!" the New Secret Experiment cried, hugging her leg even tighter.  
  
"THAT's the New Secret Experiment?" Jill asked, dumbfounded. "All Umbrella did was make a cartoon-like, midget-version of Steve."  
  
"The name's Stevey, hoe!" the midget Steve said. It hugged Claire's leg again. "And I love you, Claire!"  
  
"Worse yet, Umbrella made him have the total hots for me!" Claire groaned.  
  
"Jill!" another midget cried happily as it launched itself at the woman. She deftly dodged it, and the thing hit the wall behind her. "I love you, Jill!" the Chris midget, Chrissie, said as he chased her around the lab.  
  
"There seems to be a clone for everyone," Rebecca said to Barry.  
  
"Then where's mine?" Barry asked. He spotted his clone---as it brandished an axe. "Oh shit."  
  
"There's only room enough for one o' us, cowboy," Barney grinned maliciously, starting to chase Barry around like the others were doing. Only Rebecca, Carlos, Claire, and Leon didn't have a clone yet.  
  
"She's mine!" Leo, Leon's clone, barked at Stevey in a child-like, cartoon- style voice. "Claire, you know you love me!" Both guy clone midgets chased her.  
  
"Why do you look at boys? We don't like boys! Boys are yucky!" Reba, Rebecca's clone, said, her little face twisted with disgust.  
  
Carlos, the normal one, suddenly burst into the room (AN: Too bad he didn't burst into flames instead). "Guys! There's some kind of Tyrant-woman storming this way! She demanded that Chris be given to her!"  
  
The heroes looked worried for a second, but then came up with a plan...  
  
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The Tyrant-woman (AN: Eva Brawn, Hitler's girlfriend) smashed down the door to the New Secret Experiment's room and looked around. All she saw was the usual crap: Nazi memorabilia from Ebay.com, naked pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt, Kenneth Starr.  
  
"Where's Chris?" she wondered aloud---and soon wished she hadn't.  
  
"I love you, Jill!" Chrissie yelled as he leapt onto the Tyrant-woman. "I like your new dress!"  
  
"You moron!" the Jill clone, Jillie, berated him. "The real Jill is an ordinary person, not a Tyrant hybrid!"  
  
"Huh?" Chrissie blinked as he actually looked at the Tyrant-woman. "Show me where Jill is!"  
  
"Give me the real Chris first!" the Tyrant-woman demanded.  
  
"He left," the Carlos clone, Chucky, told her.  
  
"Then I'm glad I stuck a tracking device on that stupid hoe Jill!" the Tyrant-woman laughed. She had stuck it where no one would think to look: right up Jill's @$$.  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
"Tell me again why we didn't just burn the place," Chris said as the gang drove back to their headquarters/safe house.  
  
"Because we didn't have anything to burn it with, dummy!" Jill snapped. "Now drive faster, or I'll tell the driving instructor that you cheated on the written test!"  
  
"Please don't do that!" Chris begged, looking at her and accidentally turning the wheel.  
  
"Look out!" Barry screamed.  
  
Chris slammed on the brakes, but couldn't stop fast enough to avoid hitting the man in the street and pinning him to the ground. The gang piled out and went to check on him---only to see they should have kept going, then backed up and ran over him again, several times.  
  
"What are you all staring at?" Chief Irons snapped. "Help me!"  
  
"I thought you told us he was killed in Raccoon," Chris said to Claire.  
  
"He was, but then again, I was so doped up on the heroine in that dungeon of his that I could have been mistaken."  
  
"Help me!" Irons bellowed.  
  
"Okay, men, let's do it right!" Chris said. He, Barry, Carlos and Leon dropped their drawers, mooning Irons.  
  
"You'll pay for this, Redfield!"  
  
"And commence bombing!" Chris ordered.  
  
One by one, the guys all let loose the smelliest, loudest, and most obscene farts they could manage.  
  
"Actually, that last one smelled quite nice," Irons said thoughtfully.  
  
"Leave it up to Carlos to screw up farting on your boss," Jill said.  
  
"Let's just go," Rebecca said.  
  
The heroes piled back into the van and ran over their former boss, leaving him for dead.  
  
****************************************************************  
  
Several minutes later:  
  
"Excuse me, fatso, but could you tell me if a nice young man came this way?" Chrissie asked Irons.  
  
"I'LL KILL YOU!" the Police Chief roared, grabbing the midget clone and trying to choke him.  
  
"Hey, let go, fart-sucker!" Clara shouted, jumping onto Irons' chest and twisting his nipple.  
  
"That won't work, pipsqueak!" Irons laughed. "Not many people know that I used to be a gay!"  
  
"Oh, to hell with it," the Tyrant-woman said. She ran over Irons, deciding to just use the tracking device.  
  
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AUTHOR: Well, how was it?  
  
READ N REVIEW! 


	3. Angry Dwarves

Mini Me  
  
By Blackheart Syaoran  
  
AUTHOR: Thanks for the reviews!  
  
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Chapter 3: Angry Dwarves  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The S.T.A.R.S. sat down, trying to unwind from a long day.  
  
"I still say we should go back and burn the place tomorrow," Chris said.  
  
"Can't," Barry said. "Tomorrow is Super Bowl Sunday."  
  
"It is?" Chris scratched his head. "Then we all have to stay here."  
  
"I hate football," Jill said.  
  
"I'm with Jill," Claire said. "Football is the sport of the Neanderthal. Only men would like it."  
  
"Yeah, football sucks," Carlos grinned. "But where I come from, the chicks DIG soccer."  
  
"Carlos, the sad fact is that while the chicks back home dig soccer, they'd rather dig a GRAVE FOR YOU than dig you," Rebecca said.  
  
"Tell me about it," Leon said. "But then again, I don't need sports. I'm a Manly Stud!"  
  
"That's so true!" Claire squealed, hugging Leon.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Meanwhile, the Tyrant-woman and the clones were driving around, trying to find the S.T.A.R.S.  
  
"Where do we go again?" Chucky asked. "I keep misreading the coordinates."  
  
"That's because you have cat chow for brains," Jillie said. "I can get us there."  
  
"Too bad you're too short to drive!" Barney sneered.  
  
"Watch it, loser!"  
  
"You watch it!"  
  
"Everybody shut up!" Stevey yelled. "I need to finish my present for Claire!"  
  
"What are you making?" Leo asked.  
  
"A collage of all the best pictures I could get of Claire from the security cameras!" Stevey said proudly.  
  
"She'll like mine better!" Leo said.  
  
"And that would be?"  
  
"I bought a bunch of Milky Way bars for her!"  
  
"What the hell is she going to do with Milky Way bars?"  
  
"Have a romantic dinner, duh!"  
  
"You're an idiot!"  
  
"So are you!"  
  
"Both of you shut your mouths!" Clara said. "My original isn't going to fall for you losers!"  
  
"Will she fall for me?" Barney asked.  
  
"What for?"  
  
"I can't even hear myself think!" the Tyrant-woman growled. "I need some fresh air!" She pulled the van over---near a joke supplies store.  
  
"Hey guys," Stevey grinned. "I got myself an idear." (AN: He's talking like a hillbilly.)  
  
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Alfred Ashford was buying some latex gloves, and nose-hair scissors when they attacked. "The S.T.A.R.S!" he gasped.  
  
"Or something close to that!" Chrissie said as he threw a water balloon at Ashford. It splattered green paint all over the man's expensive suit. "Commandoes, get them all!"  
  
"Yeah! I'll show you all!" Leo cried out maniacally as he shot the stock boys and customers with paintballs.  
  
"Here's looking at you!" Stevey said as he pelted a clerk with his own paintball gun.  
  
"I need some backup!" Clara yelled. She ran faster, trying to keep ahead of the angry shoppers that had decided to chase her. She spotted Chucky pigging out on some cake. "Help!"  
  
"Help me eat? I can handle this cake myself!" Chucky said, misunderstanding her.  
  
Barney used a yoyo to catch people around the ankles, while Stevey and Chrissie poured hot coffee and wet dog food all over them. Chucky eventually finished eating and grabbed a miniature baseball bat, whacking people in the legs.  
  
Clara pulled out dual water pistols and sprayed the shoppers with them.  
  
"Ow! It burns!" one man cried.  
  
"I filled it with pepper spray!" Clara laughed.  
  
"What do you little monsters think you're doing?" the Tyrant-woman demanded. "I leave you alone for two minutes and you decide to raise hell in a supermarket!"  
  
"We're sorry!" the clones cried, dropping to their knees and pleading for mercy. "We thought you went and committed suicide!"  
  
The Tyrant-woman clapped a hand to her forehead. "You guys are imbeciles!"  
  
"What's an imbecile?" Chrissie whispered to Jillie.  
  
"A smart man's idiot," Jillie answered.  
  
They all got back into the van and drove off, still trying to find the S.T.A.R.S. After a while, they heard police sirens.  
  
"Oh, this is JUST GREAT," the Tyrant-woman growled.  
  
"Maybe they won't notice all the hash?" Stevey said.  
  
"What hash?" the Tyrant-woman asked, glancing to the back seat. "You little monsters actually brought hashish into THIS VAN?"  
  
"We thought you would want to light up to," Barney said.  
  
"That's right," Leo said. "You didn't seem to notice at all."  
  
"Everyone keep quiet while I get rid of the cop," the Tyrant-woman ordered as she pulled onto the shoulder of the road.  
  
The cop came up and looked at her. "License and registration, please."  
  
The woman gave them.  
  
"Okay, let me get this straight: It says here that you're black, you work for Eddie Murphy, and you're from Pakistan."  
  
"Is there a problem with that, officer?" the Tyrant-woman asked.  
  
The cop took off his glasses. "Jesus! I thought you were a normal person!"  
  
"Oh, that's just the has smoke taking effect."  
  
"Hash smoke?"  
  
"Check the back seat."  
  
The cop opened the side door---  
  
"What in the hell?"  
  
"Hi!" the clones all greeted. "We're high. Want to join us?"  
  
"I'm going insane, I just know it," the cop was mumbling to himself.  
  
"Get him!" Stevey said, but fell onto the pavement like a sack of dirt. "Or not."  
  
"Gotta go!" the Tyrant-woman said, driving off after picking up Stevey.  
  
"Aw, and we were just making a new friend!" the clones complained.  
  
"I don't care!" the Tyrant-woman snapped. "You little freaks are trouble enough without dragging more people into it!"  
  
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AUTHOR: Well, finally done again! READ N REVIEW! 


	4. Umbrella's In The Hizouse!

Mini Me  
  
By Blackheart Syaoran  
  
AUTHOR: SORRY for the wait and thanks for the reviews!  
  
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Chapter 4: Umbrella's In The Hizouse!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
While the Tyrant-Woman was driving to the S.T.A.R.S' house, Captain Albert Wesker was already there, attempting to break in and "have some fun".  
  
"GRR!" Wesker cursed, throwing down the bobby pin. "This always works in the movies!"  
  
Then he looked to just about the lock and read the small sign saying, "Unpickable".  
  
"Stupid Redfield!" Wesker cursed. "When I get through with you, you'll be talking out of your ass!"  
  
"I'm getting out of the shower now!" Jill yelled from the top floor. "Don't let me catch anyone peeking in at me!"  
  
Wesker perked up. 'Naked Jill + camcorder = fun!' he thought, and hurried to try and find a good vantage point. He whipped out his camcorder, hoping for great shots.  
  
But just as he did, she opened the window and tossed out the brick that she used to keep the door to the bathroom shut. The brick smacked into Wesker's face and he clutched it, screaming a muffled cry of rage and pain.  
  
Recovering quickly, Wesker realized something: The brick had completely broken his glasses.  
  
"You're dead, Redfield!" he roared.  
  
Wesker pulled his spare glasses and went for the door again, but, as hard as he tried with his superhuman strength, it wouldn't budge.  
  
"Last call for garbage!" Barry called inside as he carried the bag out, the door whacking Wesker in the face and knocking him onto the ground. Barry, who was happily humming to himself, paid absolutely no attention to Wesker as he put the garbage in the can and then went back inside.  
  
Seething, Wesker shot to his feet, ripped the door from its hinges, and followed. Barry had vanished, but Wesker decided to waste time before looking again. He noticed the clock was all screwed up: It read on the hours, the S.T.A.R.S' names on the hands, "Fighting Umbrella; At the Dentist's; Shopping; Sleeping; Cooking; Burning Alive; Drowning; Having Sex; Eating; and Drunk/Getting High."  
  
Wesker cocked an eyebrow and moved on, opening the fridge---and recoiling in shock. Inside was a horrible selection of food: Hot dogs for Rebecca; gumbo for Barry; veggie burgers for Jill; Snickers for Claire; sub "hero" sandwiches for Leon; tacos for Carlos; and some sort of pasta with greenish- blue-white fuzz for Chris.  
  
"I do NOT want to know," Wesker told himself as he closed the door. He went to the stairs and looked around, spotting nobody. Heading up, he quickly located Carlos's room, solely because it was the only room with a name on the door.  
  
'Guy must be an idiot.' Wesker pulled out his gun and kicked the door open, ready to kill. Within, he found Carlos sleeping on the floor, passed out next to a LARGE stack of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit magazines.  
  
'Idiot yes, jackpot yes.' Wesker picked up the entire stack and put it in his truck before heading back upstairs, determined to find Chris and Jill. He would kill the hero and steal the woman. Simple, yeah, but then so was Chris.  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
The Tyrant-Woman pulled into the driveway and parked. "Not a word from you little bastards."  
  
Stevey gave puppy eyes. "But we look so innocent!"  
  
"Keyword look!" the Tyrant-Woman snapped as she left.  
  
"I get dibs on the steering wheel!" Leo said as he jumped onto it.  
  
"I get the gas pedal!" Clara called.  
  
"I get the brake then!" Barney shouted.  
  
"I get the horn!" Stevey said.  
  
"I get the shifter!" Chucky claimed.  
  
Leo started up the van while Clara floored the gas, causing the vehicle to jerk forward and rattle the clones. Stevey laid on the horn and Chucky shifted gears to first, making the vehicle go slowly.  
  
"Faster!" Leo demanded.  
  
Clara pushed harder on the gas while Barney held down the brake, causing the back tires to spin and splatter mud all over Alfred Ashford, who had followed them.  
  
"I hate clones!" Ashford bellowed as he stormed off.  
  
Barney released the brake as Chucky shifted gears to sixth, and the vehicle leapt forward, smashing through the fence, Leo laughing like a madman. He twisted the wheel and the vehicle turned to the right, going straight through Jill's garden and demolishing it utterly.  
  
"Turn!" Chucky called, and Leo did so.  
  
The vehicle swerved to the left and the clones screamed as it tore through the house.  
  
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"Guys, I just saw a van driving itself across our lawn," Carlos said.  
  
"You're losing it," Barry said. "Vans NEVER drive themselves."  
  
Carlos shrugged and went to the kitchen, hoping to snag a taco before Jill made dinner.  
  
But just as he got there, a van exploded through the wall, taking out the table, lamp, and fridge. Carlos stared as it abruptly braked, reversed, and then left. Blinking, he went back to the TV room and said, "Okay, I just saw the van drive itself through the kitchen wall, take out the fridge, and then leave."  
  
"Told you that you're losing it," Barry said.  
  
"Go see for yourself."  
  
Chuckling, Barry went to the kitchen, saw it all, and gaped. "Holy shit."  
  
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Chris was in the shower when all hell broke loose.  
  
"Rubba dub dub, Jill naked in a tub," he was singing when the curtain was jerked away, exposing him. Chris felt like the hapless victim in Psycho.  
  
"Told you I'd get you," the Tyrant-Woman laughed as she got in the shower with Chris. "Oh, this brand of soap is so kinky with your hot body! Here, let me rub it all over your smooth and really hot body---"  
  
"No! Stay away!"  
  
"When you say no I know you mean yes!"  
  
"Then yes, come and get me!"  
  
"Today's Opposite Meaning Day, so you want me to actually come and get you!"  
  
"Eek!" Chris screamed like a little girl. "Woman, you are so going to get iced when Jill finds out!"  
  
"Let her! I'm not afraid to show my love for you!"  
  
"Help me!"  
  
A terrific struggle ensued, in which Chris fought to keep his human virginity from being lost to the Tyrant-Woman. Of course, he wasn't a virgin anymore, but in doing it with other species he was.  
  
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"Park, park!" Leo shouted.  
  
Barney slammed on the brakes and Chucky shifted to park, the sudden move tossing Jillie and Chrissie forward.  
  
"Hey, we were sleeping back there!" Jillie said indignantly.  
  
"Sure you were," Leo snickered. "Everybody inside!"  
  
Reba finally woke up and got out as well, following the others as they silently infiltrated the S.T.A.R.S' headquarters/safe house/home. Slipping upstairs, the found the person they would least expect to see: Wesker.  
  
"What the hell?" Wesker said, gaping.  
  
"Yo, moron!" Chrissie called. "We're looking for the S.T.A.R.S. Seen them lately?"  
  
Wesker punted Chrissie as though kicking a field goal. "Little twerp!"  
  
A door opened nearby, and Jill stuck her head out, pissed at the noise. When she saw the clones, however, her jaw dropped.  
  
"I love you, Jill!" Chrissie said, launching himself through the air like a missile.  
  
Jill slammed the door shut and Chrissie collided with it. She picked up the gang's special alert device: A paper cut with a string in one end.  
  
"Guys, Wesker and the clones are here!"  
  
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AUTHOR: Oh no! What next?  
  
READ N REVIEW! 


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